The Science Behind the Spark

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May 18, 2024

by Mai El Mokadem

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The "spark." It's that intangible feeling that ignites between two people, a potent mix of excitement, attraction, and butterflies in the stomach. But what exactly is this mystical spark, and what goes on in our brains to create it?

 

Science tells us the spark is a cocktail of chemicals. When we meet someone we're attracted to, our bodies release a surge of hormones like dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin. Dopamine, the "feel-good" chemical, fuels our excitement and exhilaration. Norepinephrine gets our hearts racing and palms sweating, mimicking the fight-or-flight response (or shall we say love bomb or ghost?). Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, builds the more intimate feelings of trust and closeness.

 

This hormonal symphony is spurred on by physical attraction, but it goes deeper.

Shared laughter, stimulating conversation, and a sense of being understood all contribute to the spark until it turns into one big mega comet of several tiny sparks. These experiences trigger the release of these same chemicals again and again and again, reinforcing the positive connection.

 

However, the spark is also often tied to the novelty of a new relationship. The intense hormonal response tends to fade over time

as our brains adjust to the presence of these chemicals.

So, does this mean the spark is fleeting and doomed to disappear? Not necessarily. The good news is that a strong, lasting relationship can be built on the foundation of the initial spark.

 

While the spark is an important initial pull, it's compatibility, shared values and emotional intimacy that create a long-lasting bond. These deeper connections provide a sense of security and comfort that goes beyond the initial hormonal rush.

 

Couples can keep the spark alive by nurturing the connection. This can translate into making time for each other, trying new things together and expressing affection. Even small gestures can reignite the excitement and remind each other why you connected in the first place (men, listen to your girlfriends).

 

The spark may be a biological response, but it's up to us to cultivate the deeper feelings that create a truly fulfilling relationship.